Nov. 24--Imagine you are squeezing some toothpaste out of a tube but you have forgotten to take the cap off. What happens? Deb actually did this in one of her most unaware moments (they do happen!), and the toothpaste soon found another way out -- through the bottom of the tube and onto her clothes. Now imagine that the tube of toothpaste is you, under pressure and beginning to experience psychological or emotional distress. But you do not take your cap off, as it were, by recognizing what is happening and making time to relax and deal with your inner concerns. Instead, you just keep squeezing yourself to do more. So what happens to the mental or emotional pressure building up inside you? Eventually it has to find a way out, and if it cannot come out through the top -- by being acknowledged, expressed, and resolved -- it will find another way of making itself known.

It will find the weakest point, whether through your digestive system, your nerves, immune system, behavior, emotional balance, or sleep patterns. Repressed or ignored, it can become illness, depression, addiction, or anxiety; projected outward, it becomes hostility, aggression, prejudice, or fear. But all of this is within our own personal domain.

The deeper cause of stress is not so much the external circumstances, such as having too many demands and not enough time to fill them. Rather, it is about our perception of the circumstances as being overwhelming, as well as our perception of our ability to cope when we feel stretched beyond what we perceive we are capable of. If we believe we cannot cope, then we will begin to lose ground; if we believe we can cope, then we will be able to ride over any obstacles.

Luckily, we can change our beliefs and our perceptions -- they are not fixed or permanent. The idea that it is our work, family, or lifestyle that is causing us stress, and that if we were to change these then we would be fine, is seeing the situation from the wrong perspective. Rather, it is the belief that something "out there" is causing us stress that is actually causing the stress. And although changing our circumstances certainly may help, invariably, no matter what we do, it is a change within our belief system and our perception of our capabilities that will make the biggest difference.

Where stress creates workplace fatigue, absenteeism, mistakes, a lack of productivity, burnout and breakdown, meditation has the opposite effect. It helps decrease the amount of stress experienced while clearing the mind, increasing concentration and confidence, and helps to achieve greater perspective and intuition to solve problems. It improves listening skills, which develops enhanced interpersonal communication, and it clarifies purpose and vision.

In a stressed state, it is easy to lose touch with compassion and kindness by getting overly focused on competition and our own survival; in a relaxed state, we can connect with a deeper sense of purpose and innate altruism. This makes a significant difference in our communication and relationships. For instance, in a stressed state we can get irritated or overwhelmed by relatively small events -- a child interrupting our conversation or a colleague being late for a meeting -- until we become upset or tense. In a relaxed state, we can view such disturbances for what they are without letting them accumulate or increase our irritation. We stay balanced and non-judgmental, more likely to be concerned as to why our colleague is late rather than focusing on the inconvenience.

The ability to keep our peace and maintain an even-balanced state is one of the great gifts of meditation. In practice, this means recognizing that there are many situations in which we have no control over what happens, no ability to affect the outcome, but no matter what happens it is possible to stay balanced. This applies to our thoughts and feelings, as well as to our behavior and actions. As the famous proverb says, "We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust our sails."

And so the secret is now out: meditation works. Cross-legged yogis and Buddhist monks can be seen in advertisements for everything from computers and credit cards to herbal teas, major newspapers and magazines carry stories on the benefits of meditation with tips from famous film stars, and no self-respecting bookshop is without a how-to-meditate section. In our local post office, on the wall behind the counter, fliers advertising meditation and yoga classes hang next to overseas postal prices.

Meditation has been the main focus of spiritual practice for thousands of years, but it is only in the last few decades that the general population has begun to realize how important and valuable this practice really is, regardless of spiritual or religious interests. You do not have to be a hippie or on a spiritual quest to meditate. We have taught everyone from housewives to athletes and musicians, and therapists to CEOs, in yoga centers and town halls, high school gymnasiums, corporate boardrooms, and on television.

Meditation creates the space for us to see how our mind works, how thoughts and dramas come and go. But instead of getting lost in the story we can develop greater objectivity. When we no longer need to identify with our story, the diagnosis or prognosis, the details or the dramas, then we are free to expand into our true potential.

©2009 Ed and Deb Shapiro, authors of Be the Change: How Meditation Can Transform You and the World

Ed and Deb Shapiro, authors of Be the Change: How Meditation Can Transform You and the World (Sterling Ethos/ Nov 2009) are the award-winning authors of 15 books on meditation, personal development, and social action. They are featured bloggers for Care2.com, teach meditation workshops worldwide, work as corporate coaches and consultants, and are the creators and writers of the daily Chill Our inspirational text messages on Sprint cell phones. The Shapiros' books include Your Body Speaks Your Mind, winner of the 2007 Visionary Book Award; Voices From the Heart with contributors such as President Gorbachev, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, and Bishop Tutu; and Meditation: The Four-Step Course to Calmness and Clarity. Ed, from New York, trained in India with Paramahamsa Satyananda, with Sri Swami Satchidananda, and with Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche. Deb, from London, trained with Tai Situ Rinpoche. The Shapiros have taught meditation and personal development for more than twenty-five years. They currently reside in Boulder, Colorado. For more information please visit www.EdandDebShapiro.com.

Book Review: Be The Change By Ed And Deb Shapiro

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