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By Robin Jay, BHC Editorial Director

Using 20 years of research from The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) at Columbia University, former U.S. Secretary of Health, Education and Welfare Joseph A. Califano Jr. recently authored How to Raise a Drug-Free Kid: The Straight Dope for Parents. In this one-of-a-kind book, the father of five and grandfather of eight offers compelling, evidence-based information for parents to help prepare their children for a drug-free life. On Monday, January 11 at 6:30 p.m., Califano will appear in Palm Beach, Florida, at the Palm Beach Day Academy, Halmos Activities Center (241 Seaview Avenue) to share two decade’s worth of insight and research on what really prevents children from using drugs and alcohol. He’ll also reveal the most potent, underused tool in teen drug prevention: parental influence.

“If you get a child through age 21 without smoking, without using illegal drugs and without abusing alcohol, that kid is virtually certain to be home free for the rest of his or her life,” Califano said in an interview with Behavioral Health Central. “That means that during that dangerous decade from age 10 to 20, the most important people besides the child going through the decade are the parents of the child. This book is written for parents, to help in a very user-friendly, readable way. It’s full of practical ideas and it tries to identify the times and circumstances when kids are at greater risk. It reviews the things parents can do to reduce the risk that their kids will use substances, and the differences between boys and girls. It has all the things a parent needs and can use in terms of raising their children to be adults who are drug-free.”

The newly published Simon & Schuster Touchstone/Fireside book serves as a comprehensive, straightforward, usable guide to keeping children drug free during their formative pre-teen, teen, and college years. During his talk, Califano will offer advice on how to discuss many of the most daunting parenting topics like:

• When and how to talk to your kids about drugs and alcohol.
• How to respond when your kid asks, “Did you ever try drugs?”
• How to know when your child is most at risk.
• How to prepare your teen for the freedoms and perils of college.

“There’s no question that what parents say and do are critical. The kids do listen to them. Parents think, ‘Oh my goodness, my 16-year-old sits at the dinner table and what we say goes in one ear and out the other.’ But it doesn’t go out the other ear even though it may seem to. Those kids will remember that and will use it. What parents need to do is be engaged in their kids’ life, to care about their kids, and to go to their events.

“Frequent family dinners are very important. We know from our research that the more often kids have dinner with their parents, the less likely they are to smoke, or drink or use drugs. We know that kids and conduct are very important. For example, we know that kids who see their parents drunk are much more likely to get drunk themselves or even to use illegal drugs. We ask kids who have never used a substance, ‘What was the influence on you?’ Most of those kids say the greatest influence on them was parental disapproval — ‘I knew my parents would raise hell with me if I did that.’ And so parental attitudes are very important,” said Califano.

If you’ll be in the Palm Beach, Florida, area on Monday evening, you’re invited to attend his presentation at the Palm Beach Day Academy, Halmos Activities Center, 241 Seaview Avenue, Palm Beach. Califano will answer questions from the audience following his presentation and will be available afterward for book signings. How to Raise a Drug-Free Kid: The Straight Dope for Parents is available on Amazon.com and in most major book stores.

To listen to BHC’s interview with Califano, click on the media player on this page. The following is an edited transcript.

BHC: Thank you for joining us Mr. Califano. Please tell us some of the highlights in your latest book, How to Raise a Drug-Free Kid.

Joseph A. Califano, Jr.: The book, How to Raise a Drug-Free Kid, the Straight Dope for Parents, is really the result of 20 years of research here at the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University. It stems from the fact that we’ve learned over these years that the problem of alcohol and drug abuse and smoking is all about kids. If you get a child through age 21 without smoking, without using illegal drugs, without abusing alcohol, that kid is virtually certain to be home-free for the rest of his or her life.

What does that mean? That means that during that dangerous decade from 10 to 20, the most important people besides the child going through the decade are the parents of the child. This book is written for parents, to help in a very user-friendly, readable way. It’s full of practical ideas and it tries to identify the times and circumstances when kids are at greater risk, the things they can do to reduce the risk that their kids will use substances, and the differences between boys and girls. It has all the things a parent needs and can use in terms of raising their children to be adults who are drug-free.

BHC: Mr. Califano, you mention in your book that parents are probably the most underused and potent tool to prevent drug abuse in their teenage children. Can you expand on that?

JC: That’s a good question. There’s no question that what parents say and do are critical. The kids do listen to them. Parents think, “Oh my goodness, my 16-year-old sits at the dinner table and what we say goes in one ear and out the other.” But it doesn’t go out the other even though it may seem to. Those kids will remember that and will use it. What parents need to do is be engaged in their kids’ life, to care about their kids, to go to their events.

Frequent family dinners are very important. We know from our research that the more often kids have dinner with their parents, the less likely they are to smoke, or drink or use drugs. We know that kids and conduct is very important. For example, we know that kids who see their parents drunk are much more likely to get drunk themselves or even to use illegal drugs. We ask kids that never use the substance, what was the influence on you? Most of those kids say the greatest influence on them was parental disapproval — “I knew my parents would raise hell with me if I did that.” And so, parental attitudes are very important.

BHC: If a parent has a concern that a child is showing different behaviors that may be a sign the child is using drugs, what is the best way to get a child to listen to their advice and comply?

JC: I think parents, 1) should really be right upfront and confront the problem — not at the time the child might be high or may have drank a little bit too much or might have smoked some marijuana — but talk to their kids. And then, if they think their kids are not telling the truth (which can happen, especially if the kid is using something) and they think the child might have done this a few times, then they should get professional help. This is not something that can be solved by just saying, “Don’t do it.” This is a real, significant and difficult time for the child if the child is using. The sooner they get professional help, the better off they’ll be.

BHC: Mr. Califano, you’re a father of 5, grandfather of 8, can you talk about how you became passionate to help other parents to help their children?

JC: We came to realize that parents don’t understand how much power they have. You made the point, “They don’t listen to me.” They do listen; they do watch; they do learn. Parents do have the power for better or worse. That’s number one.

Number two, through parental surveys, we know that parents don’t really know the world their kids are living in. They don’t really have a sense of how easy it is for their kids to get marijuana and how easy it is for their kids to get prescription drugs. So this book describes the world that their kids are growing up in so they can better deal with it.

Next, I think it’s important for parents to know the times when their kids are having an increased risk. Let me give you a typical example. In the first four years of school, the kids are against all of this stuff. They’ll come home and say, “Mommy, don’t smoke a cigarette. Daddy, why are you drinking a beer?” But then they’ll go to middle school. And in that 5th or 6th grade, they’re going to see 8th or 9th graders and they’ll see a pretty, popular girl who smokes, or they’ll see a guy who is an athlete drinking a beer and they may think, “Maybe it’s not so bad.” Well, during that switch into middle school, parents should be there, recognizing what’s going on in their kid’s head. And this book helps tries to tell them that, so they can better deal with it.

It’s important for parents to know the difference between boys and girls. Boys are much likelier to display substance use in outrageous ways. They’ll drive drunk, they’ll jump in the water with their clothes on or off. Girls are much more difficult. Puberty is more difficult than it is for a boy. Secondly, girls who use tend to hide it and tend to be insecure and tend to have low self-esteem and to be depressed. They don’t do these outward things the way boys do, so it’s harder to detect. You have to be a little more sensitive with respect to your daughter. It’s all these kinds of things that we want parents to know and that’s why I wrote this book.

BHC: Mr. Califano, on Monday evening, for those listening to this and want to go listen to your talk, will you have the book there?

JC: Yes, we’ll have copies of the book there. We published the book in paperback so that anyone can afford it. It’s $10-15 if they go onto Amazon.com or Barnes and Noble. We want to make this book available to any parent in the country who has pre-teens or teens. It really can help them — we know that. We’ve worked hard on this. It’s not just me. There’s no book like it. It’s based on 20 years of research about teens and parents and families.
 

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